If you’re anything like me, you don’t like the idea of your basement flooding. If you’re nothing like me, you do like the idea of your basement flooding. I don’t know why you would like to have a flooded basement. Maybe you’re an eternal optimist, and you just can’t help but look on the bright side. If this is you, you will probably hate this article because a working sump pump would mean losing your free basement swimming pool at the very height of the summer heat. If you are currently loving your life — floating past your washer and dryer on an inflatable pool raft, drinking a mojito, and catching up on the latest Stephen King thriller — please disregard the following information, which will not be helpful at all for you. But if you are a boring asshole who just wants a dry basement, and has a broken sump pump, please read on.